永远不会有任何人能代替你

I've not cried for a long time now so the last couple of days, including last night had been a little overwhelming and very unexpected. But I've also believe it might have just easily been a bleeding-through from the last couple of days. It was my first day off after a week of working and God can only tell you how much I wanted time to stop so I'll keep having that day off.

Let's just break it down. I was listening to a song on Friday at work and tears were brimming. I'm just glad nobody saw it. On Saturday morning, I've spent a could-have-been more pleasant morning at the polyclinic and did my 4th blood test and the hormonal test results back and apparently my thypoid level was a little too high, whatever that meant. (I'm having difficulties between 'hormones' and 'hormonal'). While the doctor was incredibly grouchy, he could not figure out what's wrong with me. And for the first time in my life, the blood test thing hurt, badly and that's just weird to me. Anyway he did what other sound person probably would and referred me to specialists instead. I'm not sure if I'm swinging by though...And I think I know why he's just a doctor in a polyclinic instead of a specialist or something. Ok, I hate to be all judgemental-y but really, there is a good reason why that dude with the horrible accent doesn't belong with the big boys. I was referred to TTSH, and now the world knows, a race to 'save' my life officially begun.

Then there was the work, the 2nd one; hordes of people and no lunch until 6pm. My colleague thought I should join him and his girlfriend for dinner or rather dessert after work and it's a willing obligation. We talked a lot about stuff we didn't before like school, people, memorial tattoos and spilt tongues. And of course, it was the talk about memorial tattoos that triggered and snapped. Memorial tattoos are stuff of extreme pain and or pleasure that every individual feels differently about. Some people simply dissed it while curiosity and sympathy invoked in others. Every single night for the last few years, there is only one thing I wanted to do, and that is to kiss her. I mean, It's what I do but couldn't anymore. The emotional outburst was akin to that of a balloon, expanding and contracting in size in sync with my very own heartbeat which by the way, can be rather erratic on most occasions.

It's rather helpless and unexpected, albiet the signs and one of them being that of a company bus with the name 'Tara Technologies' written loud and clear. Now that's what I call cool!


星期六晚上
哪儿都不想去
也无法入睡
看着电视机
持续在发呆
喝了七分醉
闭上了眼睛
试着不想你
但已来不及
忘了如何让眼泪停止流下
还好没人看见， 没人会说话
星期六深夜
我想起了你
没什么特别， 只是回忆
你让我自由我很感激
星期六深夜
永远不会有任何人能代替你
这就是遗憾的滋味
陪着我形影不离
明天我会面带微笑
但无法忘记你

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDnORne35l8&feature=related