Revelation in Pieces

I
am
so
very
happy
for
her.

I mean,
new car
new perspectives
and the whole big 'hey, i'm moving on' thing.

What can
come close?

Time
is borrowed
before
another apocalypse hits.

I don't know
how I'll deal
but I'm sure I will.

I mean, it's not the first.

Fresh crimson
on my white
taunted relentlessly,
cruel words, laughing hysterically
Reminding me
Of your untimely absence. Of your undeserving death.
You said it was ok,
the way to go if the Gods said so.
Because I'm still here,
breathing and dealing, growing.
And so will you, in my heart, immortalized.
I wish I've never forgotten.
That image of you, sitting in my room, half-asleep and dreaming about pretty things
, patience, and love, beaming through your very being
That blue...
That you...
I wish I've apologized
for all that I've done wrong.
I wish I've never made you cry
and question why
You know, I'm not bright.
Can't quite shine alone
without your light
Can't quite tell my left from right.
Could you ever forget me,
forget this life?
Will time make this right by erasing what's ours, mine?
I sure hope not, for hey, this can't be right.

I beg your forgiveness, love, for I harbored desires, to sleep at night
to dream lovely thoughts and not of screeching tires and broken glass
and not red
I wanna see the world, and you'll be right beside
I wanna touch lives, so your eyes shall shine with pride
And I wanna die, not alone, and with a loud sigh.
Would you,
allow me that?
I can't tell you who the person is yet.
That piece of good news, that new surge of emotions and life
On which my blood drives
She's not arrived.

She might never.
And I might cry a little
But it's ok
I can't push for what's not mine
Can't rush
Perhaps it's just not yet time.