"For Ashleige Tara, this I char
Let Lethe's Bramble do its chore
Purge her memories of grim, of pains from recent slights and sins
When the fire goes out, when the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast
Tabula Rasa, Tabula Rasa, Tabula Rasa"
A spell to purge memories grim, to be relieved of all pains and sins...after all these years I'm supposed it's high time I learn how to live. To move on with no burden and without my past. And God, no more tears!
I'm sorting out my life. School reopens well, yesterday of next month and I wanna be able to get by the last semester without too much of a bloody scratch. I'm thinking of making my willingness and availability known to my potential employers out there, you know, sending of my resumé, and arranging interviews and the likes. CA*California has unofficially offered me a full-time position. It might look good on my resumé, secure a façade some sort that resembled a working experience before I go out or it could be just something that's kinda just stopping the inevitable - that I'm better for something else. Neither way, I'm not losing out.
I have always wondered if I should stay in the kitchen. I mean, what kind of person would willingly fit that kind of insanity into their lives, to never ever be around for anything. I never wanted my life to be revolving around working. Working isn't what my life is. Living is. Packing as much living into my body is what I was meant to do. A day job is merely a tool to do that. And you have to be real blessed to really enjoy what you do.
And doing what I do now, it takes you to a place where you just don't feel anymore. You just kept doing the same thing over and over again, with no real feelings attached to it. It's like moving on to the next thing, you have to finish what's now and you really wouldn't give a fuck. Maybe it's Sunday.
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