I am just so freaking tired right now and I want the world to fucking shut up..This is not targeted at anyone or anything.
I got drunk yesterday. Well not drunk drunk but still...I kinda felt I was flying but at the same time everything was so clear. I was myself, I could talk like myself and trust me I was talking loud. We were drinking Italian and Spanish red wines and they tasted so good so I downed like 7 glasses and I thought I could do it, because I have had done it so many times before. And obviously, I couldn't. I was high but I was more sober than when I am not. For a short while, waking up wasn't such a painful task; it became mundane and managable. And thank god I had my friend and I've just told her about Tara, and she was supportive and all. And I didn't embarrassed myself at all, I think, apart for the fact that I couldn't take 10% alcohol volume but whatever.
I may still be a little tipsy as I am typing this (I'm having a break now) but I think I'm back to dealing with life and stuff and being such a whine about everything. I just read the news of Heath's death on Yahoo! and I thought, ok, that is another good man gone. Like Tara, God can't wait to have him back. I couldn't even say her name. I am such a loser. And as many times I can tell myself that it's ok to move on, it's cool to not think about her, I can't. I just can't. Things are not meant to be the way it is now. I hated how things are. I hated how she's not here.
I got drunk yesterday. Well not drunk drunk but still...I kinda felt I was flying but at the same time everything was so clear. I was myself, I could talk like myself and trust me I was talking loud. We were drinking Italian and Spanish red wines and they tasted so good so I downed like 7 glasses and I thought I could do it, because I have had done it so many times before. And obviously, I couldn't. I was high but I was more sober than when I am not. For a short while, waking up wasn't such a painful task; it became mundane and managable. And thank god I had my friend and I've just told her about Tara, and she was supportive and all. And I didn't embarrassed myself at all, I think, apart for the fact that I couldn't take 10% alcohol volume but whatever.
I may still be a little tipsy as I am typing this (I'm having a break now) but I think I'm back to dealing with life and stuff and being such a whine about everything. I just read the news of Heath's death on Yahoo! and I thought, ok, that is another good man gone. Like Tara, God can't wait to have him back. I couldn't even say her name. I am such a loser. And as many times I can tell myself that it's ok to move on, it's cool to not think about her, I can't. I just can't. Things are not meant to be the way it is now. I hated how things are. I hated how she's not here.
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