I am just terminated from a fast-service cafe called Eighteen Chefs. I have never ever been terminated. I would be the one who goes when I say I go. I've always been proud of myself and my work attitude and etiquette. Never has anybody called me out and throw a letter in my face and send me packing, while they expressed their 'utmost disappointments' in me. And so I walked right out, head high, like nothing could defy me. But I don't think I feel the same now.

With unemployment, my plans are going wonky. My parents are trying to apply for a new flat with my pay slips and I'm not sure how it's possible now. Plus also I was trying to save up for a birthday gift I have put on hold for 6 months now. I would have to kill myself if that plan needs to be put on hold for another I don't know, 6 more months or longer. And I have also instructed the bank to open up another Savings Account so I could actually start saving. They are gonna withdraw from my account some money at the beginning of each month and deposit that into that new account. Its supposed to help me save up for whatever in the future and all that. Well, so much for saving up.

On the other side of the road, I am in desperate need for a breather anyway. I have been working so much it has significantly aggravate my stress-induced insomnia. And because of my suddenly hectic work schedule and responsibilities, I could not even begin, let alone finish my prescription from the psychiatrist to keep myself sane and I have to go back next week. The only silver lining's that I don't have to apply the day off which just makes things a lot easier. I don't have to report to no one or even get an MC.

All in all, it has been a pretty enriching experience. Nice enough colleagues and a guy with the puppy love syndrome who follows me around. I do not miss any part of it though it has sort of in some ways empowered me and make me a stronger person and a leader. I now understand how difficult it is to be in total control and gain respect and the right to lead. For the past month, I felt like I was caught up in a ridiculous whirlwind.

I have never felt like I was in charge of anybody, apart from my own person. I just have to make sure that I perform accurately and consistently. That I am doing what I was supposed to do and I do. At the Eighteen Chefs, I was, for the first time in my working life, put in charge of kitchen operations for an entire outlet. I was almost like the Executive Chef except I am not. I am responsible for the smooth running of my service operation, especially at peak hours, where the students and cubicle rats swarm in at alarmingly speed. The most important thing and really, the only thing I care about was the portioning and quality of my food. The staff under me doesn't seem to give much fuck about that though and I was constantly compelled to yell at them and tell them how to conduct themselves. I am honestly tired of it. Why in the hell am I poking my nose in telling someone else how to lead their life and I might not have the patience to repeat myself over and over again but somehow I believe in them and hopefully, they would learn to see what I saw in them, and why I didn't give up until the last minute. I remembered what they told me just last week, that they would quit if I do. It's really an honor and a great feeling just to hear that. I sure wish they don't actually hold up to the end of that bargain.

Time to hop on back to the job search wagon. Hopefully I'll come back with more pleasant news the next time I write.