These days I've been on a search, a lookout for certain things. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for but I know it's important. It could be a moment, a very short one to remind me of things, to remind me to feel things and say things, intelligent things.
I keep thinking that time is running out and that I'm not doing anything productive to justify that. Maybe it has something to do with my age, and what I've been through and is going through now. I want the good in things which I can't have, most of the time, I wasn't allowed. I don't even know what I'm writing about but I just feel like writing.
I wanted to write about her but there are things that are beginning to fade and I'm afraid of that. I'm afraid I wouldn't remember. And if I really forget, I forget. And I'll be alone. And she'll be gone. For good. I don't want her to go but I don't wanna be selfish. I can't talk about her to anyone because I can't. I have to get her back..
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