What Breaks, Mend Too

A couple hours ago, not sure if I were any more awake than I am as I write this entry now, I was stoked that I got an email from my best friend, E. But it wasn't so pretty as soon as I started reading, realizing why I got an email from her. She told me that she has decided to call it off with her Spanish boyfriend, J. I'm not sure how I feel. I just know I have to be there for her, for whatever she needs, whenever it is. J loves her, that even I can tell. They met online, in a forum kinda thing on the internet and eventually charming J won E over. He made her feel like she's the most important person, with voicemails, phone calls and emails and online conversations. I wish I knew the guy better. They were supposed to meet for the first time in Athens this October and J had already even bought the ticket as a surprise. He just wanna spend some real time with his girl is all.

If I assume correctly, I would probably think that what made E decided what she did, it was because of what she cannot do or promise and support and what J has been doing. There has apparently been a tilt in balance. Now E and J are brokenhearted.

I love this girl to bits and pieces ever since I known her and all I could ever ask for is that she's happy, with a good man, with a good job and a family that I know would always be behind her, supporting and loving her. She would always paint me a beautiful picture of what our future would be like, all full of faith, all full of beliefs and all full of anticipation. We are going to take over the world, with our eyes, with our legs and hands and me, a reason to be covered in tattoos, the way I wanted it to be. She's my angel, important person. And now I can't do shit to help her get through this decision. J could very well be the man she needed, nobody has the answer, nobody could possibly. And all these time that I've known her, she has been this fiercely driven, and highly independent girl that needed no one and somehow a part of her thinks that she's not worth of a good man, a good love, a wedding that is worth mentioning even after 70 long years. She thinks she's selfish when it comes to relationships with boys. And meeting J would have changed that thought, or so I thought. And I always hate how she would think that. I would think that I'm the one that isn't worth loving.

I don't know exactly what has went down between those 2. I would never really ask about him or them. I just have to know that she enjoyed his company, his love and his affection. It's between them anyway. A shared affection, a shared happiness. Not mine. I wish I could do more...but I kinda promise her that I wouldn't talk about it.

Looking back on things, and gladly looking past that crush, I was there when she realized her affection to J, the first time she answered J's phone call, his first voice mail, his first gift that had her name on it etc....maybe, just maybe, things will work out...I just have to there for her.