"i'm sorry, mdm but her heart has stop
breathing cut short
please don't cry...there was nothing you could have done."
i beg my anger be no more and my love spread like fire
i can't read
i can't speak
i can't think
i can't explain just what the fuck is going on with me, inside of me, this useless unproductive body
and i want everyone to shut the fuck up and leave me alone
just me, and my music in my player
i need a pen and a book, to write, to remember
i have a disease tormenting me
i hope it wins and i'll go out without a sound, a note
perhaps dying and lying in a elaborately fucked up coffin isn't that bad
at least i get to choose the color and music and the kind of people i wanted there
would anyone mourn for my passing?
i doubt it
but it'd be a party!
everyone's invited as long as you bring money
just let go, won't you?
let me rest my weary head and close my eyes?
and stop punishing me, please
i just wanna at least love for the last time
to do one good thing, so maybe, just maybe, i'll come to you in your dreams and you will speak my name
to look into some girl's beautiful eyes and tell her how i feel about life, about her, how i could delight her for the rest of her life if she would only believe
no, day wouldn't come
i've lost that right
"You Are Beneath Me", they would say as they turned their backs, walking away
what flows in abundance through me is negativity, that you can get nowhere else
it is so hard to say no to
what i offer in hand is your worst day, a parade of tears and goodbyes
and still, i couldn't see what's wrong with me
though life and her little people disagree
beg to differ, coming up with their own theories
to judge and label me and lastly,
putting me in my place, the coffin
and i'll be happy
you see, ignorance, i don't believe in a life after death or God
we are bits made out from recycled matters floating around aimlessly in space
there is no man who should judge me and burn me
there is no conscience i would answer for but my own and even that would pass when i die
and it would be my heart
that i'll follow without hesitations or doubts
then i should die if it say so...