Lost and Delirious. I enjoy the ring of it, somewhat of reality, somewhat contradicting and somewhat dangerously dark that can be so luring and engross-y.

LostandDelirious,thelatestfilmI'vewatchedtookmeacoupleofdays. Andmyverdictwasanextremelypositiveone. Icouldalmosttasteit. Thepainandwhy. Andofcourse,criedaboutandforit. I'llgotosleepwhenmidnightstrikeandbepissedaboutitbecauseIwannafinishwatchingthefilmandIcouldn'tforsimplereasons. Ireadabitaboutit,possiblywrittenbyafanwhoreallyreallyknewwhatshe'swritingaboutandsothankGodforthatbeforeIactuallycaughtit. IwasgladIunderstoodtheplotanddirectionandthenot-so-lovelybut strangelytheonlywaytogokindaendingofthefilm. IthinkI'vealwayswantedtowatchit. Ijustneverdid.

'Shall I abide in this DULL world which in THY absence is no better than a sty?
I'd fight for you with blood in my veins, my Queen, with air I breathe, and words I'd say, when eyes of blue meets green.
I’d call upon my soul within this crimson confine of glass; I’d call upon anything just so thy remains mine.
Your life is mine as mine is yours… So don’t leave.
Not this moment, not me.
Not out of my would-be-wrecked life if you leave, not for one second, I’d even lie.

I’ll keep thee, in safety, in light
I’ll keep thee brimming, with love for life
There are so little I could say and do to describe what I feel for you,
With so much wrong I’ll hate to undo, with roads and paths this arduous
With just your voice in my ear; your wish shall be my command
So shall thy death be my demise.'

I'vebeensober,ifIsaidsomyself. Notsomuchpainandyearning, notsomuchsleeplessnightsandcrying. I'mproudactually. Iunderstoodwhy. Whyithadtoend,whyithadtoendthewayitdid,wheresomeonehastosaynoandbreakheartsandkissforthatlasttime, wheresomeoneleapsoverabuildingafterdeclaringherloveandlookingatherex-loverforthelasttime. Itmadesense. Loveis. Itjustis.

"Paulie, listen to me ok? because I'm gonna say this once and never, ever again. I will never love anybody the way I love you. Never! You know that, and I know that, and I will die knowing that, ok? But it just can never, it just can never, ever, forever be. Do you understand? It just can never, ever, forever be..."