this one? very 'piss-able'

Dear God,

If you were out there, and so full of love and giving and all that shit, would you kindly give me a call. Tell me what makes your love and what makes you you and what makes your disciples or just people in general them and on the right path? And better worth in THAT particular place of the most vaguest description one would manage?

I'm gay and I'm human and that makes me better than you. I am more tangible and closer and way fallible than you could ever be. I do things, I fuck them up and then I do them again and it sort of become routine. I love and probably am and was loved (this, I probably is a notch below you but you know, no one can win at everything so...it's cool) Children of yours speak of love and giving and yet pride themselves with denial, prejudices and being closet-minded; denying it when it's the most needed, never knowing what it really means and feels.

Why is love a sin and that of a rigid and inhuman regulation in your little black book, which by the way, font's way too tiny. Why can't two human beings, of the similar gender and most coincidently, of similar orientation be together, and be as decent as it could ever be? Why do nations have laws that kill people who just wanna be in love and honest? Why can't they just give them that darn freaking paper so they could be just like everybody else with a house and a dog or two and maybe, just maybe a kid too. I can't ask enough like you can't say no enough.

Love is a beautiful thing, sex might not even be as good. Humans are beautiful, women especially. They are the mothers of everything. They care about emotions, gratifications, attractions and appeals etc...they care about the fundamentals of anything, being such intricate and sensitive and sometimes insightful creatures. I'm not dissing the guys; I just don't have anything wonderful to say about them yet. It'll happen. Soon

You see, I'm doing this project, setting up a restaurant catered only to the homosexual community, if only in my head. I was supposed to find solutions to deal with sheer negativity and ignorance from the general and media at large, my mom and family being a part of them, I'm sure. I can't find nothing yet and I had to present it to my tutor in the late afternoon tomorrow...we'll see what happens.

I had this plan thing...to exercise and completely refrain from fastfood. Never really like either of them but if I had to do something incredibly intelligent for myself before I die, this would be one of it.

Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone
Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry
Girls Aloud - Whole Lotta History
Pink - Dear Mr. President
Snow Patrol - Run

The bad news is I'm officially deaf pretty much. The headphones are officially busted; it's on the left side for now and I think I'm going to not survive!!!

I hear only music.