Kudos to Whoever.

Ok, it's that time of year again where I stop and take a bearing and lay appreciation for all those whom I owe it to ( and big time!), and really kinda take a breath.

My life as a student is now seeing its not-so-bright end. I am not going nowhere with my current grades so I can't procrastinate no more and I have to just immerse myself fully into what I call 'the adult working world'. I don't know who I'll turn out to be, good or bad. At least for now, I am feeling ok. Yeah, I am feeling ok. You know, as good as one can be plus exam anxiety.

All right then.

Groupmates and schoolmates and drinking mates and strangers, I love you all and it's beyond any word I could possibly muster with my limited vocabulary. You guys made my world such a pretty picture. We overcame challenges within such short time span, had loads of fun and I was mad and frustrated for the littlest and stupidest things I can no longer bother remembering. I've been less than articulative my entire existence and it's probably my bad. I suck at expressing, especially love and friendship but I'll always, always, with my life be here when you need me. You guys can fucking count on that! I probably seemed nonchalant most of the time or I don't talk as much but I'm right here. Oh, I feel like a good cry, especially the 'love and friendship part'. Haha!! Embarrassing is all.

Anyway, I thank you guys and you guys know who you are, for pulling it through and putting it up with me. I'm really wouldn't be the first to wave and yell 'yes' if I had to bunk in or work with me. You guys are fucking courageous! I'm really just finding this experience a surreal one. I never seemed to believe in anything and I still don't. But you guys made me, trust in having fun in life in the midst of non-funness. I don't wanna say I've been through a lot, because then that will make me sound old when I'm not. But yeah, I'm still working out the kinks of life, trying to fix things, fix me and I will be as good as new in no time.

I have fear, so much of it I'm feeling selfish I can't share it. Haha! If wishes do come true, it will be pretty cool to just stay in school, and be protected from the pains of this world but then again, be careful what you wish for. They don't generally work the way you'd have cared for and often than not, you regret making them. I have simple wishes. I want all whom I have the honor to know and keep, good health, love, inner peace and strength and courage to do whatever they are doing. We better keep in close contact, just to check it the magic is working its all.

I love you guys.

Come Back to Bed

Still is the life
Of your room
When you're not inside
And all of your things
Tell the sweetest storyline

Your tears on these sheets
And your footsteps are down the hall
So tell me what I did
I can't find where the moment went wrong at all

You can be mad in the morning
I'll take back what I said
Just don't leave me alone here
It's cold, baby
Come back to bed
Come on back to bed

What will this fix?
You know you're not a quick forgive
And I won't sleep through this
I survive on the breath you are finished with

You can be mad in the morning
I'll take back what I said
Just don't leave me alone here
It's cold, baby
Come back to bed

You can be mad in the morning
Or the afternoon instead
But don't leave me 98 and 6 degrees of separation from you, baby
Come back to bed
Why don't you come back to bed

Don't hold your love over my head
Don't hold your love...

©John Mayer, Heavier Things~ Track 5, Come Back to Bed ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqTJv06yuEA

http://www.haoting.com/musiclist/ht_6d4d63af79737cf3.htm

"我们现在什么都别想， 什么都别管
在仅剩的时间里，就这样安静地爱着。。。你说好不好?"
在某个下过雨的早晨， 躺在我怀里无力对我说过的最后几句话，我怎能忘记?

我静静地点着头，什么也没说
只是用手轻轻梳揉着你的长发
你突然想起身
你那依然深邃，好蓝的眼睛望着我，仿佛问我为何不说话
就这样，望了好久
好安静，好安静。。。
我不再理会时间无情地流逝
也不想为弄脏了我校服的鲜血作任何无谓解释

你渐渐地笑了
当时的你似乎什么都了解了
一向对语言文化有着浓厚兴趣的你不禁也为声音与语言的多余、限制感慨着

我温柔地看着你，回忆起了你的轮廓
也提醒着自己一定要把现在完美情景牢牢记在心里
我绝不会轻易忘记

我低下头，轻轻吻了你的额头，嘴唇
在这短暂星期五早晨里，坐在公路中央的我俩是这世上最幸运最幸福的一对
真的，我真的如此相信着

因为就在这时脸上带着微笑的你走了。

Verzeihen Sie mir heute?

Liebe Love,
Verzeihen Sie mir heute? Untersuchen Sie jedoch meine Augen und erklären mir it' s-O.K. oder schauen Sie gerade die andere Weise und wirklich, weil Sie taub sind?

Dear Love,
Will you forgive me today? Will you still look into my eyes and tell me it's ok or would you just look the other way and really, because you are deaf?

回忆是陈旧阴暗的游乐园
主题公园曾开过的花儿都已凋谢
没人拍照欣赏了


旋转木马载着受困的人不断缠绕
云霄飞车记载的是情人们不再幸福的生活
附近的酒店早已打烊
不会再听到欢笑


习惯性风趣搞笑卖气球爆米花的帅哥怎么老了?
还有那留着辫子的女孩又跑去了哪里?
怎么只剩下我一人像个白痴站在雷雨中?
眼泪不停流下。。。心中一阵阵好痛


我大声喊着 "这辈子不爱了!"
心里想的却是相反的
心里要的其实很简单
只想有个人爱
只希望每天早晨醒来、晚上入眠时不再那么无趣孤单


把入门票给烧了
反正售卖缘分坏了的贩卖机不会再有人修理



放弃过去
让自己和另一人创造新的奇迹
忘记她的样子、声音、气息， 忘记曾有过的一切美丽
这一天会来吗?
那新的奇迹会靠近我吗?

Stand Still, Look Pretty

I wanna paint my face and pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up, I don't even wanna look at myself
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over

I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
And you might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking in the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't even believe this is my life
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would just go and shut their mouth
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

I am slowly falling apart
I wish that you would take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still look pretty

©The Wreckers, Stand Still, Look Pretty ~ Track 6, Stand Still, Look Pretty ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoy-fzOmCS0

Hey guys, I am sensing a chain here. A chain of disappointments that I pretty much with my fucked up brain thrown on myself. I have this power to build myself so high up and then I fall. And after that, after I rearranged myself into a single semi-functional piece again, I wanna fuck myself and question my own stupidity. Why do I do these things to me? Why do I possibly in any set of mind wanna hurt myself like that? I don't have an answer.